I have become the girl with a massive massive massive..

.. backlog.

Yeah, have been hibernating since so long, but i do get these feeling every now and again about things. Things I would like to share.

I am a contradiction of sorts. want to say so much, but then I also don't want to. But this post is not about me. Its a start of list of so many things I wanted to write about.

This is the first from that lot. No reason for me to choose this topic over the rest, but lets just say it is a distraction.

A few week ago I was watching late night TV, well not too late night as my TV is not in my bedroom and I generally head 'bed'wards around 11ish .. So, it was a program called 'Naked Attraction' on Channel 4. As the name suggests, it was quite simply naked attraction .. So there is this person stood with the presenter trying to choose a date for herself / himself; and there are 6 people who are trying to win themselves the date. The bit that is different in this set up though is that they begin with their lower bodies exposed and with every round (there are 3 rounds), they keep exposing a bit more -- so 2nd round they expose their upper bodies and in the 3rd round they show their faces as well.. And then in the final round the person who has been watching them naked all along also bares it all and choose the person s/he wants to finally go on a date with.

Saw 2 episodes of this program, and though i cringed, but i kept watching just to see what happens next -- do these pair find the soulmate that they came looking for.. So i watched..

What do you think happened? I am not sure if it takes a TV program to figure out that while physical attraction is an important factor in keeping relationships going, but its possibly not the biggest factor. Plus having a good body possibly works when you are pissed drunk and can't really hear what the person is saying. A good body also does not guarantee good sex.. I guess the 'sapiosexuals' of this world might die watching this!

So yes, I think all of them agreed it was a confidence boosting experience, which I believe it possibly was -- its not easy getting naked in a nudist beach with few naked people around, lets not even begin to assess how nerve raking it must be to get naked on TV where you are being recorded and you can be seen by anyone for years to come with just a click on the computer. So, if you want to test your body confidence and don't mind being seen (I have no problems at all -- to each their own I think), then maybe its a good experience.. However I would still think you don't need a show to prove , yet again, that beauty is more than skin deep my friend.

Sometimes I feel TV channels need to be a bit more creative with their material. Well thats my opinion.. Do we really need these shows?

Oh, I learnt something useful from this show though, it seems there have been scientific studies to show that people with more than a 100 moles on their body age 6-7 years slower than other people. Essentially one can be 30 and look 24. Now that is a great positive.. Especially when one is 40!

With that thought, ta!

Un Certain Regard..

.. don't quite understand why this category is called what it is.

In 2013 Cannes, the Jury prize winner in this category was a Palestinian film called 'Omar'. It received rave reviews, and I had read one such review which made me desperate to watch the film.. Desperate till I forgot about it.

Was going through some old emails and found an email from January of 2014 with the subject line 'We have to find this'.. And today I finally found it. On Netflix.

It was a gripping film -- its unusual for me to watch a film at one go -- don't get me wrong, I love films and my breaks are not a representation of the film itself-- but sometimes lying diagnoally in the comfort of your bed, sleep takes over. Not with this film .. I am not particularly well, but this film made me sit up fixated and thinking..

Thinking about the complexities and the conflicts in the world -- as I type this, there is possibly an Omar in a jail cell talking to an ant. His bruised hands after he climbed over a very high wall is floating in front of my eyes.. Nadias nod of approval to be married, Amjads betrayal or Agent Ramis manipulation not sure what is more disturbing...

Stellar performance by Adam Bakri. I hear he is being cast by Asif Kapadia, and why am I not surprised.

Very beautifully the director of the film repoints that people have both, the good and the bad within them. And at times the line between the two is very blurred.

This is just not any film.. Watch if you can. Its on Netflix.

The article about the film can be found here.

Making of a terrorist ..

.. Its hard to accept that people are born wicked / cruel.. Why then some people turn to hate and violence in the name of revolution and a just war. How is it that young men and women don't flinch wearing explosives and blowing themselves up in some glorified idea of god and sacrifice.

Be it Ajmal Kasab from 2008, or Shivjit from the film 'Punjab 1984', almost always these young men are subject to unfair personal experiences that get exploited by people who practice the politics of hate, or are conditioned to believe that the world is against them and their people and they need to be the saviour of their own people -- even if this means they will have to kill innocents in the name of some 'holy war'.

One may argue, and I have had this arguments many a times, that the person being brain washed has a 'brain' of his/her own, and therefore should have the intelligence and humanity to understand that there is no bravado or holiness in killing the innocent. I would like to think that its simplistic to classify people who get conditioned into picking up arms against the innocent be to cruel; I think its important to understand why they do it -- possibly because it gives them a purpose to their lives -- a make believe purpose that they are redeeming their people and implementing the will of god.

I am not being a terrorist sympathiser here -- its unfortunate that the people who have turned to terror in the name of jihad or inqualaab or revolution possibly have lost their chance of being able to be distinguished from the fewer true fanatics and hence probably will face the wrath of the world and rightly so. But how can you stop more people from turning into Kasabs and Abdeslams? Surely indiscriminate bombing will not help -- it has never helped .. If wiping out a whole country or waging war was the solution, possibly we wouldn't have had this problem in the first place. If the rich countries like Saudi and America hadn't instated Mujahideens to fight the Russian Invasion of Afghanistan, we wouldn't have had Al-Qaeda. If there was no Al-Qaeda, then there would be no 9/11 and possibly no 'war-on-terror'. If there wasn't any war on terror, possibly it wouldn't have further disturbed the politics of the entire region which finally resulted in civil unrest and uprising in Libya, Egypt, Syria... And possibly if everything was calm in that region, we wouldn't have created a incubation centre for IS to rise from the ashes of Al-Qaeda...

War and indiscriminate killing only causes collateral damage and more hate .. but then how to exterminate people who are the cancer of the society..  Do you just put your finger in the troubled country and give a deadline for all the 'good ones' to escape the country and then bomb the living daylights of the country? But then how can one be sure that the bad ones did not escape in disguise of the good ones? War is surely not the solution.. If it isn't, what is? Maybe, the answer does lie in non-violence / peace. Maybe the situation in this world today is the collective result of the cunning few -  some powerful, greedy, crazy, heartless people -- and just like jesus had to bear the cross for sins committed by others, possibly unless we all bear the cross, this circle of hurt will not end.

Another 'pitiless war' is just going to result in another 'pitiless' suicide bombing. Possibly, its time to stop retaliating and letting the storm pass. They are few, we are many -- they will wear out surely. And once they do, there will be a fair chance that we start afresh with forgiveness and humility. Its surely easier said than done -- people grieved from terror attacks lash back at me saying I wouldn't say it if I were affected directly -- maybe i wouldn't, or maybe I will.. The husband of the lovely french lady who got killed in Paris talked of love not hate. I am sure there are more brave hearts who see beyond their own hurt and dream and wish for a better place for the generations to come. It takes a lot to forgive the killers of the people you love, it possibly time to realise that revenge will only risk more people. War and Retaliation are tested -- it doesn't work. Having said that, people should do all they can to stop and foil terrorist plans and bust terrorist propaganda, but another war and more bombs will only make more terrorists.

Was watching this film called 'Punjab 1984' -- its based on the aftermath of the infamous Operation Bluestar .. Its another shameful history of my country.. The film gets a bit dramatic, unreal and bollywoodish towards the second half; but nonetheless does remind us of everything that went wrong and all the hurt and pain men and women suffer when a few monsters decide to use innocent people as pawns in their foul politics of hatred.

Watch the film here.. Its a punjabi film, but has english subtitles ..